Exasperating, Confusing, Adrenaline racing.

I used to brush adults off when they told me as a child to ‘stop wishing your childhood away’, ‘these are the best days of your life” … I am only 19 and can honestly say I am still mothered, still young, still looked after and maybe too much! I am super lucky to say that I have an amazing family, wonderful boyfriend and awesome friends who cater my every need and keep me laughing every single day. But I am at that age where I’m trying to find myself. I am now trying to find independence. I am ready to start my life for me, but shit it is the most exasperating, confusing, adrenaline racing experience yet. Confusion is definitely an underestimated, overwhelming feeling that I would describe ‘growing up’ to be. As much as we all say ‘we’ve got this’ …majority percent of the time I’m not sure what I got, what I owe to people and what I’d like to have in the first place.

I think it’s because all I know I want in life is to move around and experience every tiny thing I possibly can but the sad truth of wanting to just live is that it takes money that I don’t have nor have the motivation to completely throw myself into a monotonous 9-5 job to achieve. Currently still being in the education system (NOT FOR MUCH LONGER!), I know that I am going to give up my part time job, of flipping burgers and get a full-time job.. and as much as this doesn't excite a single bone in my body, it excites me more than anything I’ve done before because as little as whatever full-time job I might end up in will mean to me, it is step one of independent saving and getting on my way to moving on from what Northern Ireland has to offer. 

Being a 19 year old female in Northern Ireland who can’t seem to find a damn interest in one job title that home
(My first & only tattoo, to date)
has to offer, but is ever complaining about wanting more tattoos, what hair colour to go next (purple is the desire), having no money to go to these ridiculously big festivals that just look unreachable and buying more food than sense… It’s definitely time to start using my bank card again and saving for the opportunities I have been too scared to consider, until now! 

Believe it or not starting a blog is my small first stepping stone to ‘getting my shit together’. It is a big deal for me, being someone who tends to push other people’s opinions far out of reach, but I know that this is something I have wanted to venture into for a long time and have come to the decision to do it completely for myself in the hope that it interests others on the way! 

Thank-you for taking the time to read my ramblings, 

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